I recently met an incredibly
motivated and driven female leader. She is dedicated, loves the company
she works for, thrives on feedback to improve and wants to achieve top
performance status every year at her annual review. In discussing her
career and future plans – she stopped mid sentence and admitted that having a
baby was on the horizon and having a family as well as a career was very
important to her. “Can’t I have it all?” She looked at me desperate to hear of
course you can! But can we?
Managing an all-female business
for the majority of my career, this is a topic I have observed, managed and
lived myself. It is a topic that is constantly debated and depending on what
publication you read, this week women can have it all, last week we couldn’t
and the week before that we can as long as we don’t have more than two
children! Even the box office is cashing in on the topic with Sarah Jessica
Parker staring in I Just Don’t Know How She Does It. I haven’t seen the
film (yet!), but I’m pretty sure it is a similar account of what I have already
observed over the years.
In my opinion, yes you can have
both BUT three things. One – what are your expectations? Two – how will you
logistically blend the worlds of career and kids? And three – the balance will
constantly change and evolve as you do; your career progresses and the children
grow up.
I’ve been blending the worlds for
7 years and even this week I said to my husband I just want it all – I always
have. My first role model of being able to achieve both was my mum, who
had a teaching career combined with that of a homemaker. I didn’t see a
skewed approach to either career or being a stay at home mum. What I saw was
that being able to have the whole package was certainly within my reach and my
control.
Wanting it all isn’t being
selfish, greedy or unrealistic – it is purely an attempt to gain satisfaction
from different facets of life. So having it all is certainly a challenge and
not something that just happens because you want it to. It requires a planned
approach, with realistic expectations combined with the right mindset and
flexibility.
Quick tips to make it work:
1. Expectations – in my experience if you think that you will be able to do the
same job, the same way, with the same level of intensity, you are probably
setting yourself up to fail. The truth is that once there is a little
person in your
world, it becomes nearly impossible to physically operate at the
same
capacity. Those 12 hours days with a networking breakfast in the
morning and
a client dinner that night is not only impossible to sustain, but
you probably
won’t have the same desire either with your thoughts elsewhere.
Being
realistic about what you can take on and how you manage your time
becomes
an essential priority.
2. Accept change – you will potentially see
things differently after having
children. When I was pregnant with my
first child, I remember my boss saying
to me “don’t worry your personality
won’t change, but you will become
softer”. As a driven type A
personality, I couldn’t see how it would make me
softer in business and I saw
this as potential negative. However, having
children has made me
‘softer’ in the sense of being more aware and not so
reactive to situations and
people. Children can actually help by holding up a
mirror………monkey see
monkey do! It’s okay to change, to see things
differently and learn from
experiences – it can actually assist business decisions
and career plans.
3. Support networks – juggling work life and family life in my experience means
there is always one parent who is the “fallback”. This is the person, who
carries the extra load with the family when things get busy, or the kids get
sick
or the official childcare arrangements fall through. In an executive role
in the
corporate world, I do think this is extremely challenging and nearly
impossible
to be both. In most circumstances, women in senior leadership
roles have
great partners, families, and nannies behind the scenes supporting
their
careers. In my case, my husband is the glue that keeps everything
together
even when I feel that it might all be falling apart! I certainly would
not have
been able to achieve what I have in the business world without this
support
from him.
4. An employer who gets it – an employer who actively supports flexibility,
blending of the worlds and genuinely believes it is possible, is critical to
achieve success for all involved. Just recently, a female executive went
to an
interview and when she asked about leaving early a couple of days per
week
for school pick ups, the potential employer said sure, because you’ll come
back to the office straight after that won’t you? At that point, of course she
knew it was never going to be match because there just wasn’t the level of
understanding to make it work without it becoming a major issue.
5. Remember me? In blending the worlds, there is little time left over for
women
as individuals. The all-important time to yourself is critical to
continue being
able to perform at work and at home. I learnt this lesson
the hard way and
wrote about it here (Health 1st,
Family 2nd & Work 3rd….What’s your order?).
Planning this time and booking it in like you would a
business meeting is a
necessary commitment.
To give yourself the best chance
of “having it all”, be realistic and understand that life is going to be
different. Your priorities will change and some people will understand
and support you, while others will frown upon your choices and from time to
time you will feel the turmoil of “mummy guilt”.
Being a successful corporate
woman with a thriving business career as well as an engaged, active and present
mother is possible. The systems, support networks and your personal
approach are what make it possible to achieve in both worlds.
Nicole Underwood understands what it takes to
create, build and grow a successful business. The essential ingredient is recruiting, engaging and retaining people.
Great people. Top talent. High performers. As a previous finalist in the
prestigious Telstra Business Women Awards, a regular blogger, coach and
entrepreneur, Nicole works with organisations to improve their results through
hiring and keeping the right people.
No comments:
Post a Comment